Once upon a time, there were two princesses who were very fair and wise. There Names were (quite long, though royal sounding) VEGGIE FRIED RICE and CHICKEN AND SPINACH LASAGNA. They were the only daughters of King Pizza, whose full name and title were "KING PIZZA WITH ASPARAGUS, MUSHROOM, AND RED SAUCE.
King Pizza wanted nothing more than his daughters to get along, but all they did is fight with each other. And all he could do is hug them and tell them he loved them deeply, and still they fought. "If only your poor dead mother was not consumed by that dragon, she could set you two strait," he would say to himself. He would lay in bed, fretting about the future of the kingdom with two strong-willed daughters.
At long last, after they had smashed the wills of many a strong and handsome suitor, he received a proposal from KING SOUP OF THE DAY, who had three sons looking for a challenge in life. There names were PRINCE HEARTY RED LENTIL, PRINCE TOMATO AND KALE WITH COUS-COUS, AND PRINCE CREAMY AUTUMN VEGETABLE. Prince Hearty Red Lentil was leading a dashing crusade against the Viking raiders of the North. He had taken his cousin NEXT SOUP, whose full name was NEXT SOUP CREAMY CARROT BASIL, and he was a mighty warrior. "While your brother is defending our land, you can help our kingdom by marring those two sassy daughters of King Pizza."
"We would rather attack the Mongolian Horseman in our underwear!" they said, but in the end they knew what they has to do. They wooed Princess Fried-Rice and Princess Lasagna by killing large animals, reciting love poetry, and folding laundry. They also made a point of suffering every insult the Princesses threw at them. After several years of courtship, the Princesses started to warm to the silly young men who insisted on scrubbing floors and cooking dinner, and were finally considering marriage. "It might not be that bad," they said to each other.
It was at that time that a ship moored itself to the castle dock, bearing the overly-ornate flag of the Kingdom of SPECIAL SANDWICHES. Two princes leaped down form the decks with a flourish. "We are ASIAN CHICKEN WRAP and SAUTEED MUSHROOM AND GOAT CHEESE WRAP, and we have come to this land to tame the two sirens of this castle, to bond our two kingdoms in a lasting relationship that is really only good for us!" The daughters of King Pizza, watching from a tower, were somehow interested in the two brutes in there black leather pants and way too many feathers on there cloaks. "They have perfect stubble," Fried Rice said.
Who will they choose...?
